By Jordan L., 31, Sacramento, California
Exploring the power of connection—both online and in person
I used to think I could beat this alone.
I read books. Listened to podcasts. Watched hours of YouTube videos on “how to stop gambling.” And for a while, it worked. Kind of.
I white-knuckled my way through three months without gambling. No slot machines, no sports betting, no late-night roulette apps. But I was miserable.
Every day felt like a silent war. I was surviving—but not really living. Then one night, after a brutal week of cravings, I typed “gambling support group near me” into Google.
That search changed my life.
Silence Almost Broke Me
Addiction thrives in silence. I didn’t tell my friends. I didn’t tell my partner. I didn’t want anyone to know I’d spent rent money at a casino—or that I’d cried in a bathroom stall after losing $1,200 on a random Thursday.
Shame kept me quiet. Pride kept me pretending.
I told myself I just needed more discipline. But every time I slipped, I fell deeper. Not just into debt—but into loneliness. I was surrounded by people—but no one who truly got it.
That’s why I finally looked for a support group. Because I needed someone who didn’t just sympathize—they understood.
My First Meeting
The first group I joined was local—held in the back room of a community center on a Wednesday night. I almost didn’t walk in. I sat in my car for ten minutes, convincing myself I wasn’t “one of those people.”
But I was. And walking through that door was the best decision I’ve ever made.
Everyone there had a different story—but the same thread ran through them all: “I lost control, but I want my life back.”
Nobody judged me. Nobody pitied me. They just listened. Then they shared their own pain, their own relapses, their own road back.
I didn’t even speak that first night. But I left lighter.
Online Support Helped Too
I also joined an online group. Private forum. No names, no pressure. Just real people sharing real struggles.
In the middle of the night, when cravings hit like a freight train, I’d log in and post: “I want to gamble so bad right now. Someone talk me down.”
And someone always did.
One guy sent me a simple reply I’ll never forget: “You’ve already proven you can live without gambling. Tonight’s just one more page in the story. Keep writing.”
That sentence got me through more than one dark moment.
What Changed When I Found Connection
I still do the work—budgeting, journaling, checking in with myself. But now, I don’t do it alone.
I go to in-person meetings once a week. I check in online a few times a week. I’ve made friends I trust more than some people I’ve known my whole life.
Having people who understand the pull, the regret, the shame, and the hope—it’s everything.
Support groups gave me:
- Accountability without shame
- Empathy without judgment
- Structure without control
I don’t have to perform. I just have to show up.
Healing in Community
Today, I’m 15 months free from gambling. The cravings still come. Life still throws curveballs. But I don’t face them alone anymore.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Maybe I should try a group…” — do it.
Whether it’s in-person or online, free or faith-based, big or small—connection matters. You don’t have to tell your whole story on the first day. Just walk in. Sit down. Listen.
Let someone else’s story remind you that yours isn’t over.
Looking for a support group or peer community?
Browse High Stakes Healing for conversation guides, support tools, and more stories like Jordan’s.
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